You’ve probably encountered a situation or two at home where you get the feeling your significant other doesn’t help enough. (That’s not just at my house right…?)
It’s not really that he doesn’t help at all but sometimes I will start to feel overwhelmed and then next thing I know – I’m telling Daddy he isn’t helping enough (when that’s not totally true – reality is I didn’t ask for help when I should have).
I stay at home, so most home matters (laundry, grocery shopping, appointment making, etc) are taken care of by me. These things are mainly routine things I do everyday and are accomplished no problem and I honestly don’t expect my significant other to do those because I already did or plan to later.
However we all have off days.
Some mornings or even nights don’t go as planned, someone gets sick (God forbid me), or something totally out of nowhere comes and blows your whole mentality for a few days. These things do happen and sometimes they interfere with productivity in even the most routine of things.
So obviously as moms we have a lot on our plate. It is known. Most of time we have it handled and that is why its not a main concern to daddy. But before I start sinking – I need to tell him. I need to offer a little head’s up and I believe this is honestly a safety net of sorts.
You feel that you need to do 9 things like right now (start dinner, laundry and vacuum those cheerios up) but something else is keeping you from starting those (baby’s diaper?)
Ask for specific help-
Can you please change the baby and take him into the living-room for a little so I can start some laundry and then dinner?
Can you vacuum the living-room and start a load of laundry while I change the baby and get dinner started?
Being specific in the help that you want will be most helpful to you when you start feeling overwhelmed. This will hopefully curve the anxiety train – you can get some of your tasks done and be thankful you didn’t rip your significant other’s head off because he wasn’t really aware that you had such a long mental list of to-dos.TIP: Being specific in the help that you want will be most helpful to you when you start feeling… Click To Tweet
Personally – I’m not used to asking for help. Honestly – He’s not used to being expected to start the dishwasher. We (or maybe I) need to learn how to ask for the help we need. I can set it up for success when I ask specifically for what would really help.
I may have learned this a few unnecessary arguments late but it has really only proved to me that asking for help from your partner is essential to keep you both a float.
If I get upset and pull him down with me – that’s not good for anyone in the house. Or something I particularly want my children to pick up on.
Asking for help is good. Its brave. Its necessary and it’s key to a great team of parents.